So one day you're sitting at your desk working on stuff and suddenly your favorite
artists Alexander Calder and Tim Hawkinson barge
in and shout at you "HACK". They are standing
in front of the television, blocking your view of your favorite show, This
Old House. It is your favorite but you know it would be a better show if
they would just pick up a hammer and help. You turn
down the radio which is playing KEXP seattle and
say to your favorite artist who has just shouted something at you: "Well
I find that pretty inspiring, but not as inspiring as my
son Owen.". Stunned and thirsty by the revelation that you are a sophisticated,
intriguing person your favorite artist now starts drinking the water from the
vase which always contains your favorite flower tulips.
You realize this is a prime opportunity for an impromptu drinking contest and
begin guzzling a huge glass of milk,
which is your favorite beverage. Ah yes, you like it nice and cold. Just like
the Guernsey cows used to make.
Your favorite artist is now bored with this game and no longer thirsty. They
suggest you fly to Alaska which, is oddly enough,
a place you've always wanted to travel to. You throw your collection of 2
hats in a crate because you simply can't keep my
head warm without them and take a taxi to the airport.
The flight is long but thankfully the in flight movie is interesting as it is
your autobiography, with Audrey Tautou playing
you in the lead role. It's mostly a good film but there are some inaccuracies
such as the writers list being a woman as your
hobby, when really it is tinkering with junk. It's
a small but irritating mistake, but not as irritating as the
news. Your favorite artist Tim Hawkinson,
is also starting to get irritating by repeatedly asking the question "What
is your favorite color?", which they know is like poking another artist
with a pin.